13:07, Monday, Jan. 21, 2013
Hey how've you been?
Without even realising it, it's already comfortably in 2013.
I'll make a resolution to post at least once a week, because I miss these. Even if I have nothing to say, I'll just recount some things. Nothing seems interesting anymore, or worth writing down, but it's the little things that need to be remembered.
I've been working a lot, and I've been trying to sleep a lot. I've made it to another degree, so I'm definitely changing to Comm/Arts at the same university, which is so releiving for me, but I'm also unconsciously stressed about it, I realise now. I realised it because my mother is giving me unnecessary tips as if this is my first time, which is annoying the fuck out of me, so it must be because I'm actually secretly stressed about it.
Not sure if I've told you, but last year I joined a site called Poupee Girl, and I have been obsessed last year until recently, although I still faithfully follow.
There are new people who I may talk about later, my cousins came over for a week and that was tonnes of fun because they are all so awesome and hot I wish I could see them more often. I almost went clubbing but it never happened (secretly thankful)
My closet is still so small but I've been thinking it's big enough lately. Maybe it's because I never go out anymore. I was always afraid that I needed to dress accordingly to each outing, so that I would never overdress or underdress, but something my brother said a couple of weeks ago really hit me.
I asked him if he ever felt weird wearing all his hipster clothes (he has literally spent hundreds buying a new closet) with his friends, who are just normal teen asians. And he just said, "I don't know I just wear what I want." And I know I've heard that from a lot of people already, and it's what everyone says and should know. But it never went through to me the way he said it, maybe because he's a guy or my brother, but I could feel how it was genuine.
People say to wear what you want, as an instruction, so that we can be happy, because it helps you to be free. But he said it as a statement of his own decision, as in, 'I just do what I want,' 'I just eat what I want,' 'I just study what I want,' etc. So why can't I just wear whatever I want? And he said it as if it was bothersome to ask him why, as if it was so obvious to him why he wore it.
I don't know I can't explain it, but it was enlightening overall.
Sometimes my brother is really the only person who keeps me sane in my life.
He's failing school right now though.