22:58, Monday, Dec. 31, 2012
So it's the 31st of December 2012, and this is what it means:
- this is my last entry of the year
- it's my birthday
- I'm finally 18!
- it's New Years/2013 in one hour
- time for another birthday entry
Alright so my birthday this year went like this: woke up as usual, played around as usual at home, cleaned my wardrobe to match my now-cleaned room, went to dinner with Aunt and grandma for the billionth time, and went back home to playing. Great.
Gifts I received
From mother: some expensive diamond ring and money
From grandma: some expensive jade/white gold necklace and money
From aunt: some expensive perfume and a card in the shape of a fan (awesome)
From my brother: a small hipster notebook about lying from ASOS (the biggest lols and ngaws)
From Ticky: Kafka by Murakami and Birthday Stories selected by Murakami (<3)
From Pimmy: yet to be received...
Presents seem to be half a reflection of the receiver, and half (or a surprisingly large part) a reflection of the giver.
Feelings: muchos grateful to everyone, but a little sad.
Things I wanted to do today which I will now hope to do next year or any year or in my imagination at least but it'll never mean as much because I won't be turning 18 anymore (whine whine whine):
Mini fireworks. Beach bonfire. Watermelons. Time capsules. Drinking. Friends. Sleepovers.
Reasons why it never happened:
My family wanted to celebrate my 18th with me.
People are busy.
I have no friends.
My friends are lazy and sheep-like.
I wasn't hoping for too much in the first place, but people started asking me, oh what do I want to do for my 18th, since it's my 18th, and so I started thinking about what I wanted, and hoping, but what was the point if they weren't going to give it to me anyway.
Resolutions: are also my 21 things to do before I turn 21, yet another life list (despite the declining existence of them this year). The list goes as:
- Get a D (which I achieved a few months after I wrote it ufufufu. Hope to get another one!)
- Found my way at uni
- Find at least one new really good friend
- Gone overseas other than China
- Live alone for a short time (preferably 4 and 5 together)
- Improved considerably on my canto
- learnt how to play guitar at a decent level
- Fixed my lifestyle into a healthy one i.e. diet, exercise, sleep habits
- Fixed up and decorated my room
- Become a better, nicer, friendlier, more open, cleansed person
- Developed my library and reading
- Found another job that I genuinely like
- Have been in a relationship no matter how short or asiany
- Become an A cup
- Picked up photography
- Become pretter, or at least get over it all
- Be sufficient in the cooking
Feelings: probably the same I get every year, whenever it's my birthday, if you refer to my birthday entry called Circles or some shit, which probably no one except those born on this day or near this day will understand. I want to meet someone else born on this day and I ask them about it...
I've come to appreciate birthday messages a lot more, like I've come to appreciate a lot of little things this year. I can feel myself becoming more kinder and benevolent and stuff which is surprising but good. At about 10:30 or 11ish, my workmates (must have just remembered) called me and sang the first line of the birthday song to me while they were on the train through the phone. They are such wonderful people really :) When I see them like this, I realise that I'm holding myself back in many ways.
I'm also 18, which calls for much responsibility, and it no longer means I'm young anymore.
When.
Will it get better.