17:13, Saturday, Feb. 11, 2012
I'm reading Kafka on the Shore finally, and it's becoming quite a good psychological mystery, reminiscent of when I was reading Ring and Spiral. Plus I got a twitter a while back, don't know if I mentioned that.
Also I have about two always friends, less than five closer friends in the outer circle whom I barely talk to, and then everyone else is just a blurry mesh of acquaintances I will always remember but never talk to again.
I feel like I'm the only one ever reaching out to mention a bit about my life to my friends. I don't want to burden them, but I like to add the little note or two about something I did just to keep in contact with them. But it's like, if I never said anything, would they have ever said anything to me? Am I overthinking it, or what? I wish I could see you all and talk like we used to but I suppose there's no way things could happen like before.
I am so used to being alone now. My dreams are alone. My future is alone. When I envision doing things that I swear I will regret if I die without doing, I'm alone. And I'm content with that. Like I've seen enough of companionship and people and meeting and conversation.
It's sunny like summer out now.
Going to dig through Abba songs now.