21:53, Thursday, Jan. 26, 2012
I think I'm at the stage where I've run out of the things I've been doing to avoid doing the things I said I would do i.e. I've procrastinated my own life enough.
I mean it's strange because only a couple of days ago I swear I was all melodramatically depressed about how life sucks blah blah blah, which is basically how I was, unfortunately, since the year started/perhaps when hsc ended. And going downhill into this hippie state of believing that doing nothing would somehow help me. And that I had to sort myself out before I could see other people.
Maybe its actually just a whimmish type of feeling I'm feeling right now, but I think the break I've had recently should end soon and I'm already getting excited about doing things I had previously been excited about doing, but had lost a lot of interest in for some extremely strange and unknown reason:
More handmade presents (cards), time capsule letters, shopping, seeing people, seeing people I don't have interest in seeing, job searching (maybe), cleaning my room, READING, cooking, jogging, sewing.
Yeah it's kind of late but I'm getting all excited about it again like my holidays have just started. I think maybe I realised just how much of my world will still be connected to people and things from high school during these next few years.
And I'm still not sorted out yet, and it still bothers me a lot but I think I've had enough of trying to fix it, because it's not working, and I'm just going to ignore the matter and maybe it'll fix itself.
Also, I think I've found a good enough excuse (for myself) to justify owning a typewriter (before I only wanted to own it because it was retro and I like retro things.) Although if I do get one, I think I'd waste a lot of ink because lately my grammar has been horrible, so horrible it's a wonder how I operate.
And also, I think I missed seeing familiar people more than I thought I did.