9:55 PM, Wednesday, Oct. 27, 2010
Dear diaryfuture Eve,
I think it was about a year or so ago that I started being honest, pouring all my true feelings in here. I locked it so that I'd be able to be more truthful and such and so far I guess it has improved, but now I always feel like I'm desperately trying to put in every single thought so that when I read it in the future, I won't seem like a bitch.
So I'm constantly explaining myself, my actions, my thoughts, reasoning so my future self will be able to understand me. As a result, I'm bullshitting so much and none of it really properly expresses how I feel at the time.
So from now on I'm going to stop doing that. Why do I need to explain myself.. to myself? Dear future self, I won't put myself out and try to teach you who I am, who you were. You try to figure me out. I don't care if I sound like a bitch, spoilt, immature, selfish, unthoughtful, because I'm not, and these entries are merely whimsical snapshots which don't adequately describe my thoughts.
So yeah, from now one, what comes here, stays here, and is not for my reading amusement to make me sound cool, but to put all my troubles and thoughts and shit so I can have an outlet for my stressideas.
This week, I woke up to the song:
Dog Days Are Over--Florence and the Machines :)