9:46 PM, Saturday, Jul. 31, 2010

I have been very moody all day today, and I'm not sure why but I think I woke up like this. I vaguely remember feeling strangely quiet and half-asleep as our slowly floated throughout the house this morning. And last night I had a huge crazy unreasonable fit probably caused by multi-boredom. Here are some reasons I can think of for my pissed off-ness:

• My beloved memory-keeping computer crashing last weekend and I've gotten over the fact that I'm never going to see anything on it ever again, but it's been a week of restrained computer time because I've had no chance to do anything, and fuck it's been building up. I'm fucked in the head man, unhealthily addicted to the computer
• I haven't read more than a shit amount of manga this entire week. I'm a fucking otaku manga addict, so sue me. Not to mention it's the last day and we may or may not cap ourselves.
• Japanese students coming yesterday reminded me of AFS, which reminded me of Ticky, who hasn't sent me my fucking scanned picture. Ok I know she's done a lot for me (e.g. give me anime to watch) and I may or may not be the cause for her fucked up usb, but everything just builds you know?
• Eatrend kicking me off his bloody computer every time I've finally JUST gotten warm in the chair. Inconsiderate bastard. Can't you see I'm going crazy over here?
• And so I've been pounding at the piano to calm myself down, to give myself something to do. But even that didn't work. Maybe because I've been really irritated today, and most of my songs are quiet peaceful songs, I practically banged Fur Elise and Alla Turca on the keys over and over again for hours today. And seriously, my wrists and fingers and arms and right foot hurt from my intense piano work out. Why don't I just play the guitar? I DON'T KNOW! BECAUSE I'D HAVE TO ASK EATREND FOR FUCKING PERMISSION? BECAUSE I'M ANNOYED AT THAT FACT TOO? BECAUSE THEN I'D HAVE TO OPEN MY MOUTH TO SING ALONG AND MULITASK AND THAT REQUIRES PATIENCE?

Yeah and every little things has just dumped itself on me, and I've been so cynical and rude and more sarcastic than usual today. Thing(s) that have kept me sane:

• My new songs. God I wouldn't be able to survive without them. They let me sleep, they let me smile, they let me relax, they let me feel happy again. Georgia fair<3 And a cute song from the 60s or 50s that is Portuguese or whatever language they speak in Brazil, Filme Triste.

I am so sick of lookbook (yet I'm always on it) and everything being labeled 'vintage' and just vintage stuff in general. Gargh go away aren't we meant to leave the past alone? What's with this vintage is so cool (not saying it's not, I'm just really annoyed right now).
I want contemporary fashion to come in.
I want plain one-tone shift dresses and simple necklines, none of this flimsy shit.
I want long long long tresses of (red auburn) hair that goes down to my hipbone.
I want a 50s cm waist.
I want to quit school.
I want money.
I want to leave this house (life) of mine. I go into my room and I'm just sick and tired of everything, as if it's not mine at all. I wish I could run away, everything I do/did today felt so pointless and garrrrr, I'm a pirate."We were so young,
So much to lose and so much to learn from." from Something Easy (Georgia Fair)

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