10:17 PM, Monday, Apr. 05, 2010
It makes me sad every time I jump back into reality and realize that I'm not the centre of the universe.
The world doesn't revolve around me.
I shouldn't expect everything to go my way.
It's just that when you've been living in your own little world for a while, separate from everything you know. It feels like you can come back stronger, almost like you can do anything, like you say to yourself: you can be who you always wanted to be...?
So when the feeling wears off it's like, how could you ever have thought like that?
Don't you remember how impossible and short-lasting that is?
As if days of living can wash away years of being.
Isn't it sad?
But then.
It makes me happy every time I've escaped from reality, gone into my own little world where I am we are the centre of the universe. It feels like so long ago, like somewhere I've never been, like something I've never done, but I have.
But I have.
It's so hard to remember the feeling, the sensation, as it was. It's so hard to remember what it was, only that it was, and that it was a wonderful thing. But you know, it's your own thing. Your own secret. Your own little bubble of happiness. Something to keep away from the ordinary routine life you live in. Something to smile at when the days are blue and grey.
Isn't it... happy?
Aren't you... happy?