8:07 PM, Thursday, Jul. 30, 2009
Okay, so guess what happened yesterday? The strangest thing. I was walking home from Panania and these cars beeped me. Yes, beeped me. Like, checking out beeped me. What. The. Hell. And not just one, but three.
But fucking why?
I've always walked home and I never got beeped before. Earlier that day JoT told me that cars beep you when you're wearing a short skirt but I searched it up and it just means checking you out. And it's not like my skirt was EXTRA short that day or something, it was practically the same as every other day.
Maybe, its because I was walking home with Eatrend and he's taller than me now and they probably thought he was my boyfriend (gross) or something and just beeped to piss him off. Ha. Likely. Or maybe its just that those certain three cars just happened to pass us by that day.
How do I feel about it?
Well, I did feel slightly flattered, because you know, I'm a white-subarbian chick who feels very insecure about her image and stuff. So, i kinda smiled off a bit.
But then again, it was creepy. Like one of the cars I think stopped behind us and started beeping, and I was so scared they were going to park and get out and jump us or something. Scary shit.
Still, it just furthers my point when I say I look hottest in my school uniform. Tch.
So, Nara made it to AFS yeah? Found that out in the holidays. I was like WOW how awesome. Gaori didn't though. And same with Cels I think.
Anyway, the main point is, Louise tried for it too. And being my cousin and all, I was hoping that she DIDN"T get it you know? Because I know if she did make any part, my parents would lash out at me for not even trying the shit.
And turns out, she did make the first round, and turns out, dad did blow up on me and fucking his words up. He doesn't know it, but he's just angry and jealous and it all accumulates and he just starts off this lecture about all the shit stuff about him. Somehow, it starts off here, and he goes through ALL the shit about me, somehow. I mean, it went through being lazy, not doing sports, staying on the computer too much, getting dumb, not studying, getting shit in english, my friends being lazy shitheads like me, writing shit stories, doing nothing, wasting time, having bad manners and more. Damn, its like he's the best person at segue man.
Fucking hate this shit.
Me?
I regretted not trying for AFS a long, long time ago, but there's nothing I can do yeah? It was all too soon and I didn't have enough time to think it through carefully. I guess I was kinda influenced by Ticky, Jaya and Karen not doing it. But I guess I was lazy of filling forms too. Still, I got over it.
So what if I'm lazy shit, so are you. I don't do sports at school because I don't like any of them. Because I don't even like sports. Fuck you. At least respect that. So what if I go on the computer too much, its because its the only interesting thing I can do around here. Get into Gen Y and Z dudes.
So what if I'm not studying, my report was the greatest it has ever been. You still wanna complain about that? Are you gonna neglect all my other good marks just because my english is shit? This only shows parents only care about the shitty stuff and don't care about the good stuff. What do you want me to do? Become a nerd and get 100. Maybe then you STILL won't be happy, you'll say, OMG go outside more. Well you can't have everything, bitches.
And my friends are better people than you will EVER be. I think we've established that already. I'm not their friends because they're good for me, they'll rub off me, or they're popular perfect freaks I can learn from. I'm their friends because they are like me, they understand me, they care about me, they accept me. I guess that's something you'll never get.
I like writing stories ok? So what, if my stories are shit, at least I'm doing something else you know? What more do you want? Do you want me to have NO hobbies. It's like, the stuff I hate YOU count as hobbies, and then MY actual hobbies you count as bull shit. I hate piano, okay? Fuck you.
Bad manners. Would it be "bad manners" if I'm not conversational? Would it be "bad manners" if I didn't fucking listen to every fucking thing you tell me to fucking do? Well then, SO WHAT. I have bad manners. I already know that. I'm not polite, I'm not sweet, I'm not the fucking girl or should I say daughter-next-door. At least, I'm being real. At least, I'm being me. But I guess that just isn't enough for you.
Fucking first-gen parents.