8:18 PM, Sunday, May. 25, 2008
So.
Not used to this comp (Eatren'ds comp). I prefer typing on mum's comp but oh well, dad's on it currently.
So, I was looking for a picutre of how old Eve looked when she was little (yes i've decided to talk in thrid person now, Diary. Okay. On and off?) for inspiration for my story.
So yeah, I'm flipping through one of the photo albums. You know the one always next to that car/carriage/brown clock thing and always has that family picture from like... four years ago? Yeah that one.
So I flipped through it. Not much of me. A bit. But that was later.
Mainly, at the beginning all through to about... 5/6s of the way, was my dad and mum.
Now, is this scary or what, looking at them made me feel nostalgic and all teary. And I haven't even experienced them.
I dunno, lately, or this month and the last, or this whole year, I've realized how painful it is for someone to close to you to die, and what its like to regret not enjoying my past life to the fullest, when i was young. Yeah stuff like that. Regret and all. Yeah.
So this made me realize, that it was only ten, twenty, years ago that my parents were happily coupled and going all around Australia on holidays and beaches and wearing all this hip cool-in-that-day clothes.
They looked so happy and young, it made me SO sad.
I mean, its only taken about 15 years for my parents to break down, (not in that way), become way more serious and boring, and become lazy, and become worryful and...stressed. How...depressing to know.
And when i was like... two or three or four or whatever, when my parents were still in their thrities, they looked, light you know. Like they were happy.
Now its just stress.
No time.
Work.
Pay.
Money.
Eat.
Sleep.
Computer news (dad...sigh).
Balding.
Hair greying.
Etc.
I feel so utterly pained and... helpless against this natural inevitable cycle of everyone's one and only life
Eve wants to be happy more. Laugh more. Have fun more. Do more. Live life more.
I want to see the world.
I want to get run over by a car (and not die) to see what it feels like.
(We [Ticky and Jenny] agree on this, except Ticky wants to get smashed into the car and I want to get rolled over by the tyres and this soap box one day was tlaking about it but thats another story)
I want to take over the world (clearly impossible).
I want to design houses.
I want to meet schizophrenic people. (word i got obsessed over for a while)
I want to be a doctor.
(Me and my parents talked abut it today. Not so bad actually, as long as i'm not a surgeon or anything really practical or anything. Yeah. Ruins the whole purpose. But I like learning about different kinda illnesses. Mum says I should be a woman-specialist doctor. Parents also say fmaily doctors = no no. Anyway thats also another story.)
I want to design a pretty website.
I want to be a pro at photoshop and textures.
I want to publish a book.
I want alot of stuff.
Lets see now. For the moment, as long as a smile/be happy, live like there's no tomorrow, and laugh until I have no regrets, then I'll be fine.
Yeah i know. Its cheesy.
But sometimes life is cheesy.
Which makes Eve cheesy too.
Ha. How random. xD