18:27, Saturday, Dec. 03, 2016
There's this part of me that realises how much I have grown up and how things have changed and how much I have changed and how others have changed but then and its like wow it feels like long time but also a short time. Then there are these moments that make me think wow, nothing has changed at all and I'm never going to get over this and this is never going to be different.
Then I realise it's only because I've learnt to overlook these things and forget them and bury them away and ignore them and that just makes me wonder if it's a good thing I can just gloss over these things now or if in actuality, these things have just worn me down and I'm forced to accept them.
I feel like I'm constantly overthinking this shit like CONSTANTLY like over the course of my entire life every single fucking day like I have nothing else better to think about. Like fuck, get over this shit Eve and fucking move right along.
I used to come to this diary a lot because (I think) I used to not have anyone else to talk about these things with or to talk at or to just bitch to and I had so many grudges to continue and candles to burn and I couldn't ever talk about trivial shit like this with anybody I knew.
Nowadays I no longer come around because I'm too lazy now and I feel like I can get over my problems after a five minutes in the shower of intense imaginary punches, or I rant about it to my parents or these fellow friends I have now whom I hold close to my heart or even more recently so, random people I don't even care about because really, when the fuck am I ever going to see them again?
But it's true I guess, everytime I come here I feel better again after, so I guess that's why I used to come here a lot.