23:41, Friday, Jun. 26, 2015
So I'm in a slump. Things are looking down. I feel the pressure of how I haven't changed at all and it's getting to a point that people can tell. Avoiding can only get you so far.
Sometimes I feel invincible, like I can do anything, like I'm good enough for everything I ever wanted and things will just happen. I like those moments. I'm most productive in those moments.
I feel like I'm outside my body, trying to shovel it like snow needed to be cleared, trying to get. it. to. move.
I realise why I no longer feel as strongly towards things that used to interest me so much before: it's because those things feel silly now, stupid and childish, and there are better things I should be doing with my time, things adult-like and on improving the self and body, and just growing up, instead getting lost in where I used to escape to.
I can't afford to get lost anymore.