22:38, Saturday, Apr. 07, 2012
Fuck it. These days I've been living out just one after the other with no exact plan and just waiting to see how stuff turns out and it's fucking insane. Things aren't the same anymore and that scares the fuck out of me. I can never fully relax and sometimes I'm on cloud nine and other times I'm eating random shit up like No-Face and I don't know when or why it happens.
I don't like to go shopping because it all seems so pointless, even though I have the money and I'm not too fussy about shit anymore. But when I walk into the shop I just can't be bothered and it all looks the same to me. But I still want new clothes.
I've been listening to a lot of english songs again with stuff like The Strokes and French Cassettes, but mainly The Strokes who are awesome. I like them blasting through my speakers because it makes me feel like: fuck this, listen to this guitar and just forget everything.
Oh and it turns out I'm not crushing on someone. It was just a momentary phase when something happened and I went into a thing where I fell in love with the idea of liking someone and overthought it, when in actual fact it was all in my head. Not surprising actually.
I have a love and hate relationship with work. It's generally good and fun, but sometimes shit happens which ruins your day and you're just like fuck is this worth it.
Fuck is anything worth it.
I find manga really boring and I don't read a lot now which is really weird.
So tired today. I'm going to play with some velvet ribbon which I impulsively bought and then sleep.
I don't know but the feeling I have right now is sort of like when you want to just wear heavy over the top eyeliner and waste money away doing shit and flirt with boys in an annoying way and stuff like that. In a way. Not exactly.
I want a fucking iphone already.