10:51 PM, Wednesday, Jul. 06, 2011
When everything is over and done with I'm going to stop this wishy-washy business with unlocking and locking and just write and write and write while trying to stay within the realms of anonymity.
Then I'll start opening up books, collecting postcards, playing piano, playing guitar, using notebooks, writing things, making lists, using the camera, going places, buying shoes! finding those perfect mjs! get my licence!! maybe even find a nice boy to be friends with..! I'll finally stop caring about how others see me!!
All the things that I want to do but won't happen if I don't start.
When it finally ends, I'll try to stop writing about my so-called stressful workload and just talk about everything and anything that inspires me, that makes me happy: music that makes me dance, lyrics I want to engrave into my mind, quotes I want to eternally scrapbook, people who are my world, etc.
And I'll be free
free
free.
Truthfully, I have barely started On the Road, (after the introduction) and the first thing I noticed was that it sounded just like a diary entry, hardly fiction, more like an extensive, rambling recount. And then I went to myself: wow language, post modernism, experimentation, everything (not much) I ever learnt at school.
Anyway, therefore, I have no idea where this comes from but I hope it becomes the life motto of myself and my friends and my children and everyone I come into contact with:
