5:55 PM, Wednesday, Mar. 23, 2011
I'm sure if we could, we could cry on and on and on and on until the world ended because there is so much sadness and disappointment and fear and hatred and anxiety. On and on and on and on the more you think about it, the easier it is to continue, and you think even more, and cry even more.
But because this is the world, we have lives that we just can't put on hold, time passes, when the shower comes to an end, you need to wipe them away and stand up and shut away those thoughts. Shut away the sadness, you've let them run free for a number of minutes already, that should be suffice to get you through another three months. So you switch it off like a lamp and pretend that letting it out has made you less sad because the trouble has been lifted from your shoulders, and you continue on with your life.
Although, the real reason why you have become less sad, I think, is that the act of stopping yourself from crying, because you know you have to stop it some time or another, that action represents sort of progressive step for yourself. You stop, and you've already grown up a centimetre, you've started to do something with yourself, other than just crying.
If you can stop yourself from crying, pull yourself out of it, realise that you can't just keep doing it all day--if you can leave the road of ease and anger and hubris (does that work? I learnt its meaning today :S) and futility of crying over something, I'm sure you can face the rest of the world and all those other troubles you're crying about. It starts with one thing, if you can do that one thing, then you can do everything else because its always the same amount of resolve and perseverance and effort.
What am I saying, really? I just wish life was easier. I wish I were still a child. I wish I could have things handed over to me on a silver platter. I wish I were a stronger person.