8:35 PM, Saturday, Sept. 25, 2010
Yesterday we went to DFO. I am such a shitty person. I spent $10.70 on a travel ten and a ticket to strathfield but that fact kept nagging at me all day since morning. Especially when the gates at S. were WIDE open and guardless.
Anyway it was quite fun with Tanya, Twins and Joanna P. Not quite the crew I usually (or have I ever?) hang out with for shopping, which is a nice getaway. Twins are actually pretty fun shoppers although I guess they're a tad bit too impulsive but I like that they have their own style they're interested in. Same with JoP, and she's really friendly with the staff, unlike Ticky.
Tanya is not as impulsive, but that's cool. She looks way too much into the homeware stores though, more than my mum, and I try to look interested because I find it so funny and great that she's truly awed by that stuff. But she dressed up nice today so kudos to her.
Bra shopping, surprisingly, is definitely not as
awkwardintrusive?deep?taken too seriously? with these people as they are with the usual (previous) folks, Pim, Ticky, JoT(?), Jaya, despite the twins being a bit... icky. Lol.
Anyway the problem with the day was that I spent literally nothing. Except for $1 on paperclips with Tanya (which was pretty impulsive). I didn't bring much, and nothing really sprung at me, like everything nowadays, but dude, I even skipped lunch. I pulled a JoT(?). I looked at those prices and I was like noooo fucking way. So I starved instead, first time too...
And it's not really I feel bad for myself, more like I feel bad for making the others feel sorry for me. And I feel bad for making myself out as this super cheap person. It's not actually I really big trait of me because at some random times I feel like shouting people icecream, but I haven't so no one really knows. But I do exaggerate with expenses and I think it really gets to people sometimes, and I know it does, and I feel horrible that it does, and I want to get rid of it, but I felt so self-conscious with money that day. Argh.
And then I do/did regret not buying this one thing: eyeliner. Because it was only $2 and it was way smoother than the one I borrow off mum, but I didn't really know that until I came home, but I should have just bought it for myself anyway, and maybe a coloured one too. So much regret man. Also saw shoes that I wanted to buy but they didn't fit my price range for 'bargain' :|
I want to get rid of my cheap personality, and that's why I want a job so bad sometimes, so I can afford to just be 'normal' and stop annoying people with my cheapness. Sometimes I feel so cheap I want to pick up that 5c over there on the ground and keep it. Other times, I feel so rich I want to buy a present for the person next to me.
It's unpredictable. But I think it's usually the train ticket that gets to me. If only I just skipped the ticket and risked it I would've felt better the entire day. Too bad I'm a good girl :(