8:56 PM, Monday, Mar. 29, 2010
I think it's rather sweet and weird that my father still misses and worries for my mother when she comes home late. And vice versa. Me on the other hand, I've never really gotten into that habit, and it's most unlikely I'll start it anytime soon.
Somewhat pissed at the moment. Ditching the Utopia journal entries thing after doing like two of them. Seriously, I'm repeating the same shit for all the chapters, and what's the point of writing them anyway. Waste of bloody time.
Internet's still down so I've still got this list of shit to read, and do, and watch, which will probably never happen anyway, once the new month starts.
I was right, it WAS PMS, and my thingo came today, one fucking week early. I hate it when that happens. Shit and this is the worst week ever. Shit. I don't know if I'm pissed because of that or just feeling like it.
So pissed I'm getting annoyed at the guitar, for not being able to change chords smoothly enough, or remembering the song lyrics in order, or able to play it in time to the metronome. Even worse when I can't do all three at once. 'Cause I'm impatient like that.
I've got two english things which I probably, most likely will NOT end up doing, because they both are a serious waste of time. 1500 words on changing self? What the fuck? Just the damn number turns me off. What am I going to write? If it were 1000, that's okay, but seriously??
And ever since I came back for school this term, this year, I've been developing tummy fat. Worse and faster than ever before. I feel so uncomfortable when sitting down because I can feel it blopping on me. It feels so bloody uncomfortable. But I'm too lazy shit to do ab exercises. I'd rather go for the bad-old fashioned painful way of wearing a corset.
I love waists, but mine has seriously just disappeared. I'm so pissed at it, it was already wide enough naturally, but now I have to put on extra? What the fuck, if I had extra fat why don't you go to my boobs or something you gay shit, or stimulate my height growth somehow. Fuck.
I know I eat too much icecream for my own good, and it's finally starting to take it's toll on my body. I know I eat my meals at all the wrong times, snacking immensely in between. But god damn it, I love my food alright??
Yes, excessive swearing is a great way of venting. I'd probably be shot in the head for this much obscenity if I were to ever say this much out aloud.
I want to exercise, but I don't want to put on extra muscle. Maybe some toning, but I don't want to pack on extra shit on me. Plus I'm too lazy to do shit. Fuck I'm so unhealthy.
Meanwhile, I was in the library today, looking for the architecture section in the non-fiction shelves (I've taken a sudden interest in NF books), and instead found the photography section. Found a stack of old, old-school film photography books in the same series, and took one about the camera in general. Last time someone borrowed it was in 1996. LOL. But still, it looks a like a damn beautiful thing, I can't believe no one's borrowed it after her.
I will bury myself into a new phase of reading non-fiction to make myself feel better. (Current book being one on Stonehenge, which isn't all that interesting because it's more about the people who wrote on it than the actual Stonehenge. Plus some of it is so hard to read/imagine without pictures.)