22:50, Thursday, Apr. 26, 2012
It's been 18 days since my last entry which doesn't seem like long, but if you think about it, it's quite unusual. And sometimes this happens just for certain months or sometimes even for the whole year. But I mean, my average is still an entry every 3.4 days (yes I calculated it just now) which is understandable, with quantity over quality from the me six years ago (shit it's been long). Heck I'm still quantity over quality.
I also have this excel sheet which has all the money I've spent and earned (personally) this year, and I've got input and output, weekly and monthly, how much I should save and how many hours I work. Because I like lists and tables.
What the heck am I saying.
Haha I just saw a username: 'mindfluff.' That's exactly what this is.
University still sucks balls. We're all a little used to each other now, but we honestly don't talk at all outside of our tutorial/s. Except for Jessie who I annoyingly cling on to and I sometimes bump into Grace from the year above. Did I ever talk to anyone (who wasn't like in my pod) normally in school? Oh but I bought Krispy Kremes for Ruby's birthday, I've no idea why because we are NOT that close. I suppose since I'm a generous person, and the act is ingrained in me, and now I have the money to spend and I personally like the feeling of receiving birthday presents, and shit is lonely in uni and I don't want other people to feel like that especially since she's probably the one person on the closest wavelength to me (selective school asian graduate.)
In terms of study, it's like year 12. I cram and I do what I do to barely pass. Which is not good because everyone here works so hard and earnestly while I'm just half-heartedly doing it because I have to. I mean, it's not even hard and it's fun to do, but I haven't felt like 'working hard' since year 11.
Work gets better as the weeks go by. It's relatively shittonnes better uni. We got a winter uniform this week including an oversized electric blue jumper (from Lowes), which apparently is a lot more than what they got last year haha. I'm still quiet and awkward but it's sooo comfortable with them ;_; My brother also works here now ergh as a kitchen hand and he's like a fucking rock to talk to so only Top ever tries to. Top is leaving very soon and it's quite sad. I have a shittonne of problems when making spring rolls.
Friends I miss a lot. And I like to talk/rant to them about random shit when I can. But it feels like a beaker struggling to fill completely. Like it's never enough. But when I do see them, which I ache to do, it feels like I have to hold back anyway. Because I just want to soak up the togetherness while I can and not waste it away with senseless shallow chatter. Anyway it's all incomplete and unfulfilling.
Otherwise,
- I've started watching a korean drama called Love Rain, thanks to Top.
- I look at a lot of tumblr pictures of buildings now.
- I realise I look spaced out, sad, angry or all three at most times.
- I'm getting an iPhone (FUCK YEAH that's right goodbye my crappy phone days that have lasted six years and hello to a photo album documenting my life) which I have to pay myself and is coming next week.As soon as I get my phone I'm gonna be sending photos of myself amidst my crappy weeks to people just because I can so watch out kids.
- My food intake clock or whatever is screwed like fuck because of uni + work.
- I miss the city shittonnes.
- I'm planning to go to next week's Wasabi soc meeting finally even if it kills me. Who gives about stigma. I need friends I can relate to! Seriously!
- I still look at clothes but not as much. I think my budget is now $20 though instead of <$10. Right now, I want a knit grey skirt, black keds, jumpers and basics.
- Manga is ehh for me; a strangely shrinking interest
- I have shittonnes of black velvet ribbon I need to use somehow.
- I want to write more and more about irrelevant shit but I can't. See you soon.