6:40 PM, Monday, Apr. 18, 2011
We just found out that one of our rabbits have died. The white one. We found her in the the deep burrow not moving. I have no idea why or how or when she died.
It might have been food poisoning, old age, a collapsed tunnel and subsequent lack of oxygen. Maybe it's because we or I, in particular, never really took care of her. I mean my parents love and fawn over the rabbits, my brother cares for them, but I'm completely indifferent to them, although it's not like I'm not fond of them. But we hadn't fed them all day today, save the morning, and that just kills me because we shouldn't have done that at all, especially since we were at home the entire day today. Was it because of that? I'm pretty sure we're all thinking it's our fault, but no one wants to suggest it. Maybe if I had taken care of them more, fed them more, loved them more, I mean I noticed it was getting slightly thinner, but I just assumed...
She knew it was her time and burrowed a coffin for herself--that's what my dad says. With grief.
The thing is, my mother's uncle on her father's side is in hospital and the doctors say he might die at any time, and he's only in his seventies. So tomorrow she's off to Hong Kong for a couple of days to see him again for maybe the last time. And you can't not get upset and stressed and scared at the news. I mean her father's already passed away, and then I can feel my father thinking about his own 90-year-old mother, and then his own death, and how he feels like he has wasted his life since this past decade has had no success.
Anyway. So I'm not really as sad as I may seem(?) about the rabbits, because I know I'm not alone. And one day in the future, I'm going to look back and this is going to be one of those times where you raise a pet and it dies, and you learn from it. I'm more afraid and sad for my mother, because she's alone and her mentality is as strong as a twig. And this is the rabbit year, and my mum's a rabbit, and its actually her birthday on Friday. It's quite strange, bad timing.
Don't tell your mother yet--says my dad.